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Rock Hudson’s gay confession secretly recorded by his wife

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Updated on July 6, 2023

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After three years of marriage, Phyllis Gates eventually asked Rock Hudson, a renowned actor, whether he was homosexual in 1958. This confrontation came after years of rumors and allegations about the same.

The Hollywood Reporter has now published a sample of the text of the candid discussion that Phyllis discreetly taped, which was taken from the archives of private investigator Fred Otash.

During the fight, Phyllis first asks the Giant star about a recent Rorschach test he’d taken.

“You told me you saw thousands of butterflies and also snakes,” she said “[A therapist] told me in my analysis that butterflies mean femininity and snakes represent that male p=nis. I’m not condemning you, but it seems that as long as you recognize your problem, you would want to do something about it.” She also complained about “your great speed with me, s=xually. Are you that fast with boys?”

“Well, it’s a physical conjunction [sic],” replied Rock, then 32. “Boys don’t fit. So, this is why it lasts longer.”

The screen star’s secret gay life was an open secret within Hollywood (his close friends included frequently costars Doris Day and Elizabeth Taylor), although he never publicly came out during his lifetime. He died at age 59 from AIDS-related complications in 1985 — which prompted a more public, posthumous discussion of his sexuality.

Otash was the Anthony Pellicano of his era, a notorious Hollywood gumshoe who charged hundreds of dollars per day and spied on everyone from Hudson to Marilyn Monroe to John F. Kennedy. A big, burly man who left the Los Angeles Police Department in 1955 after falling out with Chief William H. Parker, he was the go-to guy for some of Hollywood’s top attorneys, including Melvin Belli and Jerry Giesler, and operated from the mid-1950s until he lost his private investigator’s license in 1965.

Mike Wallace called him the “most amoral” man he had ever interviewed, and Robert Towne used him for inspiration when he wrote his Oscar-winning screenplay for 1974’s Chinatown, about a morally dubious private eye played by Jack Nicholson. “There were several people I drew on,” Towne says. “But he was one of them.”

Otash also details moving in with Judy Garland, who contracted him to protect her after her split from third husband Sid Luft. He allegedly found several hidden stashes of pills in Garland’s home, all of which he flushed down the toilet.

Author Sarah Davidson, who wrote the Oscar nominated star’s authorized biography, told the late Roger Ebert that while Hudson may have been secretive about his sexuality, he was “A very romantic man. He always believed there was one single right person for him, Mr. Right, and he was always looking for that person, and always finding him.”

Persecution

Many classic actors were forced to hide their sexuality due to the homophobic attitudes of the time. In the 1950s and 1960s, homosexuality was widely stigmatized and considered taboo, and openly gay actors faced discrimination and harassment in Hollywood and beyond.

As a result, many classic actors felt they had no choice but to conceal their sexuality and live in the closet.

One of the most well-known examples of a classic actor who hid their sexuality is Rock Hudson. Hudson was a popular leading man known for his good looks and charm, and he starred in a number of hit films such as Giant and Pillow Talk. However, Hudson was gay, and he struggled with his sexuality throughout his career.

Hudson was forced to keep his homosexuality a secret due to the homophobic attitudes of the time. He entered into a sham marriage with his secretary, Phyllis Gates, in an attempt to cover up his true identity.

Hudson and Gates divorced after three years, and Hudson continued to live in the closet for the rest of his life. He was only able to come out as gay after being diagnosed with AIDS, and he died of the disease in 1985.

Another classic actor who hid their sexuality was Montgomery Clift. Clift was a talented and versatile actor who starred in a number of critically acclaimed films, including A Place in the Sun and From Here to Eternity. However, Clift was also gay, and he lived in fear of being outed.

Clift struggled with his sexuality throughout his career, and he went to great lengths to conceal his true identity. He entered into a number of romantic relationships with women, and even proposed to actress Elizabeth Taylor in the 1950s.

However, he never fully committed to any of these relationships, and he continued to live in the closet until his death in 1966.

Cary Grant was one of the most popular and successful actors of the classic Hollywood era. He was known for his debonair charm and good looks, and he starred in a number of iconic films such as North by Northwest and Charade. However, Grant was also gay, and he struggled with his sexuality throughout his career.

He entered into a number of romantic relationships with women, including a brief marriage to actress Barbara Hutton. However, Grant never publicly acknowledged his homosexuality, and he died in 1986 without ever coming out.

Another example is Tab Hunter, a popular actor and singer who starred in films such as Damn Yankees and Battle Cry. Hunter was gay, but he was forced to keep his sexuality a secret due to the homophobic attitudes of the time.

He entered into a fake marriage with actress Natalie Wood in the 1950s, and the couple remained married for several years before divorcing. Hunter eventually came out as gay in his 2005 autobiography, but he faced significant backlash and discrimination during his career.

These are just a few examples of the many classic actors who felt they had no choice but to hide their sexuality due to the homophobic attitudes of the time. Despite the challenges they faced, these actors were able to carve out successful careers in Hollywood, and their work continues to be admired and celebrated today.