Natalie Portman has a lengthy history in Hollywood, beginning as a child actor in films such as Léon: The Professional (1994) and Beautiful Girls (1996). Now, in an interview with Dax Shepard on the Armchair Expert podcast, Portman discusses how the production and effect of those films influenced her as a child.

She told Shepard, “I was definitely aware of the fact that I was being portrayed… as this ‘Lolita’ figure. Being sexualized as a child, I think took away from my own sexuality because it made me afraid, and it made me [feel] like the way I could be safe was to be like, ‘I’m conservative,’ and ‘I’m serious and you should respect me,’ and ‘I’m smart,’ and ‘don’t look at me that way.’”

“But at that age, you do have your own sexuality, and you do have your own desire, and you do want to explore things, and you do want to be open,” the 39-year-old Oscar winner stated. “But you don’t feel safe, necessarily, when there’s, like, older men that are interested, and you’re like, ‘No, no, no, no.'”

Portman says she had to build “fortresses” to defend herself at such a young age. That meant putting a limit on the types of roles and tasks she could take on. With “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace,” Portman became a teen superstar.

“So many people had this impression of me that I was super serious and conservative … and I realized I consciously cultivated that because it was always to make me feel safe. Like, ‘Oh, if someone respects you, they’re not gonna objectify you.'”

She admitted the defense mechanism “worked out,” adding, “I was safe.”

“When I was in my teens I was like, ‘I don’t wanna have any love scenes or make-out scenes,’ ” she says. “I would start choosing parts that were less sexy because it made me worried about the way I was perceived and how safe I felt.”

Portman, who has two children with her husband Benjamin Millepied, came to the conclusion that she was able to find a safe haven for herself in the end.

At the 2018 Women’s March, Portman spoke about her experiences as a child actor, including the “sexual terrorism” she faced while filming “The Professional.” In her speech, Portman remarked, “I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me. I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe.”

“I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually I would feel unsafe and that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort,” the Black Swan actor told PEOPLE in December 2018.

“I felt the need to cover my body and to inhibit my expression and my work in order to send my own message to the world that I’m someone worth of safety and respect,” she continued.

Portman came to terms with the issue years later. “I know I was sexualized in the ways that I was photographed or portrayed, and that was not my doing,” she stated. “That becomes a part of your public identity.”