Christina Aguilera has found solace from her traumatic childhood experiences with an abusive father by turning to music as an emotional outlet.

In a new TV documentary, the singer of the hit song Beautiful shares her experiences growing up with her violent father, Fausto, a U.S. army sergeant, who caused immense distress to her, her mother, and sister Rachel.

Aguilera tells E!, “I saw many disturbing things – a lot of aggression, conflict, and arguing. I didn’t feel safe growing up.”

“Feeling helpless is the worst sensation. Singing became my escape. My passion for music originated from the pain at home.”

Aguilera’s mother, Shelly, reveals the severity of the abuse in the documentary, recounting a chilling incident where she discovered a four-year-old Aguilera with blood streaming from her chin.

According to the singer’s mother, “I picked her up and asked, ‘Oh my God. What happened?’ She explained, ‘Daddy wanted to nap, and I was too loud.'”

Aguilera’s mother eventually escaped her abusive husband, taking her daughters to live with their grandmother.

Although her father has pleaded for forgiveness, the pop star has no interest in maintaining a relationship with him.

She states, “I briefly allowed him back into my life, but I quickly realized that I don’t need him.”