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Dame Maggie Smith says cancer battle battered her confidence
Dame Maggie Smith has stated that her struggle with breast cancer has left her too afraid to return to the stage.
The two-time Oscar winner claimed she may retire from acting after chemotherapy and radiation left her ‘flattened’ with little energy or confidence.
“It leaves you so flattened. I’m frightened to work in the theatre now. I feel very uncertain,” she said.
“It’s one of those things you ought to keep on doing and I haven’t for a bit. I would love to be able to, because I do love it, but I feel a great lack of confidence. I am fearful of the amount of energy one needs.”
Last year, Dame Maggie was diagnosed with cancer after discovering a lump on her breast.
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‘I had been feeling a little rum,’ she said.
‘I didn’t think it was anything serious because years ago I felt a lump and it was benign. I assumed this would be too. It takes the wind out of your sails, and I don’t know what the future holds, if anything.’
She also knew she’d have to “stagger through” the last Potter movie, “The Deathly Hallows,” in which she plays Professor McGonagall.
“I don’t think I’ve fulfilled myself,” she said of her acting. “I don’t think I’ve been good enough.
“I’m beginning to feel like a person now. My energy is coming back. S*** happens. I ought to pull myself together a bit.”
“I think it’s the age I was when it happened,” she added, adding that the event had “very much” affected her. ” It knocks you sideways. It takes you longer to recover, you are not so resilient.”
She stated that she was undergoing cancer treatment while filming “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” and that losing her hair was “weird.”
‘I was hairless,’ Dame Maggie said. ‘I had no problem getting the wig on. I was like a boiled egg.’
She described the illness as “hideous,” the chemotherapy as “something that makes you feel much worse than the cancer itself,” and her whole experience as “horribly sick”
Dame Maggie is gearing up to promote her latest film From Time To Time, which she also shot while unwell.
If she could be convinced to return to the stage, she would want to play parts written by British writer Alan Bennett. “I know it’s pointless,” she acknowledged, adding that she had “already shouted at him a lot.”
‘I wasn’t well during filming. I had shingles. On my head,’ the actress said in a statement to The Times.
‘I have never known anything so painful. I had to wear a wig for the role so it was a nightmare.
‘One doctor told me I had been bitten by a wasp. I didn’t think that sounded right. I was in such pain. I was screaming and doing a lot of crying.
‘They give you masses of pills, but nothing touches it. Now it’s just itchy.’
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