Rachel Bilson says that co-parenting with Hayden Christensen is “tricky.”

Rachel didn’t hide the fact when chatting to PEOPLE about her life as a parent to 3-year-old daughter Briar Rose with ex-boyfriend Hayden, whom she dated for ten years before they split up last September.

For the sake of her child, she stated she’s doing her best to put aside her personal ‘hurt’ and ‘anger’ toward her ex.

‘Being a mom is number one for me and it always will be … Anything I choose to do for work has to be something I really want. We’re still kind of trying to figure it out … It’s a tricky one. And I don’t know that there is any right way, necessarily.’

Look, as much as we all admire celebs who can stay best friends with their ex-wives and champion the cause of co-parenting, the fact is that it isn’t for everyone. The most important thing, according to Bilson, is that the children be happy, healthy, and loved.

‘We say Mommy has a house and Daddy has a house but she’s pretty young to have an in-depth conversation. Most important for me is that Briar is okay and secure and stable. No matter what I’m dealing with or how much it hurts or how much anger there is, it’s just about her.’

She wants to learn some parenting ideas from her own mother, who is a divorced child: “My mom was a great mom,” she remarked. “My parents went through a divorce, and she showed me nothing but love, so I was totally secure and OK when she did. Briar needs to feel loved from the people she loves the most. She has that love that is unconditional, so I think we’re doing OK.”

Despite the difficulties she has had with Hayden, she enjoys seeing aspects of herself and her ex in her daughter: “She’s strong-willed and pretty funny like me, and she’s super athletic like her dad!”

After meeting on the set of the science fiction film Jumper, Rachel and Hayden dated for ten years.

When the couple announced their split in September after ten years together, a source close to the pair told Us Weekly that they were living in different countries at the time. A separate source told E! News in 2017 that regardless of the distance between their two houses, both parents would attempt to make things work for their daughter.

The insider told E! News at the time, “They will be on good terms because they have to be for Briar. Rachel is very close with Hayden’s family and has spent a lot of time with them in Canada and Barbados. She hopes that they can still be a family and continue to do things together.”